after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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