If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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