So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize