the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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