I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
