Jerry, you need to find god
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
