How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
