i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
