why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
