Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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