OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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