Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
