I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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