I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
