i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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