Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
