he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
