I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize