Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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