You work out of a Hotel?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
