So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
honey bunches of taint.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
