I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize