this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize