Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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