I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
