Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
