I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
