you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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