"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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