Sry I called you an 8
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
