my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
