I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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