I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
