man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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