dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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