I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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