It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
