We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
