Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Pooping to opera.
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