Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
