you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize