Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
