YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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