Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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