She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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