Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
