I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm having to shit out rocks
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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