My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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