she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
