ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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