Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize