yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
