Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
