K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
