i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
