if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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