There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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