Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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