I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
