They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
